Sacrifices.

Inspiration can appear out of nowhere. It hit me this morning. While I was actually having a rather deep and intellectual conversation with a good friend. We talked about life, love, loss, and everything in between. Where we want to go and what we have to do to be able to get to that final destination. Which requires a hell of a lot of work and our lack of patience in getting there. Because don’t we all want the end result now? We don’t want to have to wait, do we? If you could choose to have what you wanted at this very moment instead of waiting, who would actually want to wait? What do you REALLY want out of life? I sit here in this coffee shop, drinking a vanilla granita and I can’t help but ask myself what I really want. And I can tell you this.

I want a car. I want to be able to wake up in the morning and look at my boyfriend while he’s on his computer and I’m brushing my teeth. I want to see his clothes strewn across my computer chair or the couch. I want to be successful in a job that I don’t hate. I want to be financially stable. I want thousands of people reading my blog and to be able to relate to my words. I want a cat. And I want to live somewhere cold. Where it snows every single winter.

Is that too much to ask for? I don’t believe so. But I know of at least 2 of those things that will absolutely, positively never happen. Am I okay with that? Am I willing to be able to live without at least 2 of those things for the rest of my life? The answer is yes. I am willing. But that’s not going to stop me from wishing every single day. That’s not going to make my hope falter. It will not put an end to my dreams where in them, I get every single little thing that I want. Because I am worthy of those things. I deserve those things. And nothing and NO-ONE  will be able to tell me otherwise. Life gives you a hand. You choose whether to hold em or fold em.

The ladder to success. Still haven’t figured out a way to climb it.  If we’re going to be honest, I’m still trying to find the ladder, much less climb it. But whether that proverbial ladder shows its face or not, a few things I know.

  • I am worthy
  • I am strong, even when I feel weak
  • and loss is a fundamental part of living.

-B

 

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