Do you want to know what I have a hard time understanding? How come bad things happen to genuinely good people? Or why do bad things happen to people who have long since paid their dues? Let’s take a look at a friend of mine. Kind, friendly, open, loyal, dependable, humble, successful, charismatic. She endures defeat. And what has life given to her? She’s amidst a nasty divorce, lost most of her friends – among those, the main one being her best friend who couldn’t keep her knees together or out from under her own bed sheets. And what about myself? I’ve done plenty wrong in my day but I’ve done my best at being a relatively decent human being. When need be, I can be tougher than a $2 steak, I wouldn’t call myself ugly (for the most part anyway), and I consider myself to be an intellectual and intuitive individual. What does that get me? Well, I’ve literally been thrown into crappy situation after crappy situation. What I would love to do with my life is get a front row seat, behind the scenes, real life glimpse at the greed and corruption of the United States government. Be a successful photographer for the National Geographic. Or an author. All of which are completely out of reach for someone like me but being out of reach doesn’t stop me from dreaming. The problem with dreaming is when I wake up I am deeply disappointed, daily. Instead I find myself sipping on lukewarm coffee taking an extended unpaid break from a job that I need but don’t care for. Quite literally lingering in limbo. Sigh. What in the fuck am I doing? And if I had a penny for every single time I asked myself that question I might be able to make a living sitting at home being a professional blogger and drinking perma-lukewarm coffee.
I wish someone would just slap me across the face and tell me to get it together.