Nervous Breakdown

Also known as: “The Incident”. That’s what my doctor refers it to. I didn’t really understand, so I had to look it up.

Nervous Breakdown : a period of mental illness resulting from severe depression, stress, or anxiety.

Well, I guess that does explain it. As a result from this “incident”, I am now loaded down with 200mg of Seroquel. 100mg of Depakote. 25mg of Xanax. 40mg of Fluxotene. And 50mg of Temazepam. On top of all the other medication I’m on. I guess this officially means I am a psycho.  And believe me, it doesn’t really lift my spirits any. Today all I’ve done is sleep and play Diablo III. I probably would still be playing it now but they shut the servers down for routine maintenance. I would love to get up tomorrow and go to the coffee shop. But my funds are low since I’ve been out of work. Hopefully my doctor sends back the paperwork needed for me to get paid in time. Even if it’s only 50% of my paycheck, it’s way better than nothing at all. I’m feeling rather hopeful about it though.

However, anxiety and depression is a real bitch. I hope I can snap out of it soon. And real soon. I have a date to go back to work. And I need to do some real soul searching and stitch myself back together before I get back. Kinda hard to do when I got told by someone important to me that they wanted nothing to do with me any more. But I know that no matter what happens to me, I will pull through. I will weather any storm and come out a stronger person.

I hope.

xoxo – B

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