The Mistress or The Wife

“It’s about priorities, Dexter. You’re going to have to choose which one is your mistress and which one is your wife. And more importantly, which one comes first.” –Harry Morgan from Dexter

This quote really hit home to me just now while I was watching TV. I never had the option between being the wife or the mistress. I only had the option of being the mistress. The real question, the hard one for me to answer, is which one comes first. Automatically, my answer would be me. The mistress. I come first. He has shown me time and time again how much of a priority I am. But then again, I remember specifically the times where we argued about how I will never, ever be the wife. Do I deserve that? To forever be the mistress?

It’s a confusing thing. Such a conflicted feeling. I know what it feels like to be loved. To feel it, but at a cost. An arm’s length. Always an arm’s length. We will never share the same bed. Use the same tube of toothpaste. It seems like a silly thing to say or wish for. But I don’t believe that I have ever spoken truer words. And now I have a question I need to answer.

Am I willing to be the mistress, forever?

xoxo

-B

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