New beginnings. New endings. It’s always the same. Taking a leap is ALWAYS a terrifying thing. Taking those leaps can be life changing. I can’t help but feel this absolute fear. Everything is changing. It seems like nothing is staying the same and I just can’t hold on. I’m surrounded by shitty people, daily. And lies. It’s all very lonely. I sit here, alone in my room, behind a computer. Wondering what tomorrow is going to bring. I keep wondering about the “could – have – beens”. If I never would have gone to work for Wal-Mart. If I would still be pregnant. If my pawpaw would still be alive. How differently everything would have been. Where would I be right now? If I had taken all of these other roads. If life would have taken other turns. Would I have turned out to be a decent person? Would I still be this lonely? Would I be successful? Would I still have my cat? All viable questions. I guess it would be nice if I knew that I had something good ahead of me. Something I could look forward to. Is it so wrong to want something good in life?

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