I did it. I clocked out for the last time. I said it was bitter sweet, but I lied. It just feels bitter. I gave so much to that company. Literally put in some blood, sweat, and copious amounts of tears. It doesn’t feel as good as I was hoping it would. Instead, I feel defeated. I feel like I gave up. And I hate giving up. It feels like I let them win. I clocked out and walked my way to the front of the building. A few people told me goodbye, but most didn’t. I guess in the end people will always show their true colors. Through the double doors and turned around to look at the building. I will no longer be a part of it’s accomplishments. Of it’s failures. I was probably already replaced before I even hit the exit. The business just keeps on running, as if I never left. My eyes got watery, looking back. Because deep down I really didn’t want to go. I had an attachment to the place that I didn’t even know about until it was already too late. I sat and wondered if it was the right decision. I still don’t know the answer to that question. Did I walk away to better myself? I’m not exactly sure. How do you REALLY know when it’s ready to end? When is the right time to bid your last farewell? I guess that’s a good question for a lot of things in my life right now.
All I do know is I’ve met two of the most amazing fucking people out of it. And I am so, incredibly grateful and, above all – honored– to be able to call them my friends. I love you guys.