-MGK, Bebe Rexha, Sam Harris
This blog post is going to be a tough one for me. Maybe one of the hardest ones yet.
I finally found someone that completes me. My other half. My soulmate. The ying to my yang. I found someone that gives me everything I have ever wanted and more importantly, someone who gives me everything that I have ever needed. Things have been perfect. I took on the role of a step-mother, which is by far one of the most challenging thing’s I have ever had to do. I work alot, but I still find time to cook, pick up the house, do the laundry and the dishes. I’ve welcomed with open arms and transformed into a wife and mother in the matter of months. I still have my trials and tribulations but it’s nothing in comparison to what I have gained. I felt like the luckiest woman on the planet. The stars had aligned and the universe dished out so much good karma and positive energy that I felt like I was about to explode (in a good way).
Tuesday fate intervened. The stars died out. The universe and everything in it disappeared. My good luck dried up, and karma morphed from good friend to enemy.
57% percent of men admit to committing infidelity in any relationship they’ve had. 36% of men admit to having an affair with a co-worker. 74 % of men who say they would have an affair if they knew they would never get caught. Average length of an affair – 2 years.
I’m sure by those statistics you can figure out what has happened. The last couple of days have been a whirl wind of emotions. I’ve been angry. I’ve been confused. I’ve been hurt. I’ve been numb. The cycle repeats. I dream about it. It crosses my mind randomly throughout the day. It doesn’t seem to escape. I’ve been wondering what I’ve done wrong to make him stray. What makes her better? What’s wrong with me? Why am I not good enough?
Now most people would leave in this situation, but I’m not. Call me stupid and ignorant, tell me once a cheater always a cheater. Say what you will, but I love this man. More importantly I love his kid, which I have grown to love as my own. This family means more to me than anything in this world and for that, I’m staying. I may be broken, but I am staying.
Does it make me strong or weak because I stay? I have yet to figure out. But I know that in the end it will be worth it. So I’m going to push through this struggle because if I had to sum up my life in one word it would be this : perseverance.