Yesterday, I let my anger out on someone. I finally was pushed to the point of no return. I haven't been that angry in years. And I mean it, YEARS. I said some really hateful things. Thing's that I didn't mean. Things I wish that I could take back. I never wanted to be that … Continue reading If you’re reading this, I’m sorry…
I would take physical pain any day of the week to get rid of the emotional pain I've been experiencing on a daily basis. Today was the day. The final straw. I gave back everything he's asked for, everything he's bought me. I no longer have any ties to this human being. A part of … Continue reading The Final Straw.
Its weird. You find things when you least expect it. Something really good, really positive, could be happening for me. I didn't go out looking. It came to me. Now, where it will end up? I have no idea. But I'm going to stay positive about it. I need something good for once. -B
Why? Why are the only men that are interested in me the ones who already have wives or long term girlfriends? And they're not even interested in me. They just want to Fuck me and move on. What do I look like? Whatever happened to genuinely caring for a person and wanting to be with … Continue reading Why?
I've been spending a lot of time with my niece, nephew, and sister lately. Partly because were all having a tough go and we are able to distract one another. And partly because we all know the inevitable; these days together are numbered. This is the only family I have, and to know that soon … Continue reading Fam(ily)
I have work in 40 minutes. Part of me is ready, grateful to be doing something to take my mind off of things. The other part of me wants to hightail it back home and hide in my bedroom, under the covers. Since I'm already in the parking lot, I know that I will be … Continue reading Mercy.
Spiraling out of control. That's the only way I can explain how things are going right about now. Listening to my sister's plans for moving, dealing with hostility at work, being -for the first time in 4 years- single. The heartache and stress of it all is overwhelming. It feels like there's nowhere to run. … Continue reading Speechless.
The time has come. You never think you're going to be one of the one's affected by Trump's "send them back to Mexico and let's build a wall" deal. But here it is. Slapping me in the face, repeatedly. It's really not fair to rip families apart just because they were not born here. If … Continue reading Deported.
Rejection. Why is rejection such a bitter pill to swallow? Why is it that death is preferable to heartbreak and rejection? Giving up is easy, it's living that's so hard. My anxiety is through the damn roof right now. I go back to work tomorrow. Face some of my fear's tomorrow. Maybe get fired tomorrow. … Continue reading Sifting.
That's what my friend described me as. And not lefty as in left handed, she means lefty as in Left-Winged. Democrat. Or as many of my Right-Wing friends like to call me, a "Socialist". That last part makes me laugh. I don't know, maybe it's just completely.... 'Left' of me, but I don't believe that … Continue reading The Lefty Who Likes Cats.